Emotional intelligence is a skill you can build and train with practice. Even more importantly, you have to fall out of the practice of some factors that hinder us from reaching the peak of our emotional intelligence. Improving your emotional intelligence is often about what you do less of, not more of. In truth, most people don’t lack the capacity for emotional intelligence. In fact, we all have a degree of natural, in-built emotional intelligence. Sadly, a myriad of bad habits holds us back from using their innate emotional intelligence. Therefore it is important to learn to identify these habits in your life and work to eliminate them. Then, seek to acquire new habits/skills to augment theme. Here are 4 Powerful things to quit to achieve this:
1. Don’t Criticize Excessively:
Criticizing others is often an unconscious defence mechanism aimed at alleviating our insecurities. One of the reasons it’s so easy to slip into habitually criticizing others is that it makes us feel good. Truth is, there are far better, more productive ways of dealing with our anxieties and communicating corrections
2. Don’t Worry About the Future
Constant worrying about the future cannot make it less uncertain! Emotionally intelligent people understand that life is fundamentally uncertain. This comes with an awareness that it’s better to face up to this reality clear-eyed than to live in denial about it.
3. Don’t Obsess About the Past
Obsessing about the past is a misguided attempt at control. The past is Unchanging: this is a hard fact of life that emotionally intelligent people not only understand but accept. You must give up the choice to endlessly revisit it, no matter how much it distracts you from your real pain — the pain of helplessness. Instead, take actions in the present; no matter how small. By doing something impactful, right now, you can at least prevent the past from repeating itself.
4. Don’t Entertain Unrealistic Expectation:
This is another misguided attempt at control, but this time it is an attempt to control other people. Creating and holding on to unrealistic expectations is not a guarantee that those expectations will happen. Focus on meeting people where they are instead of where you want them to be. If not, your sky-high hopes will only lead to grave-deep disappointments and frustrations.